Easy. Make it two toned.

As seen this morning at Madison and 40th Street, the Mercedes Maybach:

and

Yuck.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:00 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I wrote, this morning, a long letter of thanks to a friend, a Hasidic Jew who gave me a gift this year and a gift several years earlier. With some minor changes, I realized upon re-reading, it would make an excellent blog entry. And so:

Dear Friend,

Please excuse the fact that I am writing to you on my computer as opposed to by hand. I want you to be able to read my note, you see, and my handwriting would make that much more challenging than strictly necessary.

This is a long overdue note but, just the same, I write to thank you for the gift you made me of the _______ Haggadah some several years ago and for the gift you gave me of the matzah, this year.

As you may know, I now have three children: The Girl Child, age 5; The Boy Child, age 3; and, The New Addition some 10 days old now. I send the Girl Child and the Boy Child to preschool at the _____ Synagogue of ____ where, along with playground time, they receive the beginnings of a formal Jewish education. Frankly, their education is already probably better than what I was open to receiving. Indeed, I wish you could have heard the Girl Child sing the four questions at the Seder on Wednesday night in Hebrew. It was lovely and better than I could have.

As we were coming home from the Seder, the Girl Child told me that she did not want to have a second Seder on Thursday night. Well, I certainly wasnÂ’t going to push Jewish life on her. My view is that it needs to be a part of her life because she has been led to want it as a part of her life not because I have forced her into it. It may not be the right decision, at the end of the day, but I am doing the best I can. So, I acquiesced and told her that that would be fine and we could skip the second Seder.

Then I got home last night and, I am happy to report, was confronted with an angry and disappointed young lady who demanded to know why we were not having a second Seder. I explained to her that if she had wanted one, we would have been able to have one but that I had to prepare and would have had to have come home much earlier than I did. Her mother promised her that, with the seven days left to us, we would have a second Seder. She was mollified.

And so, I went to the bookshelves in my den. I knew that I would find there the only Haggadah I owned: The _____ Haggadah you had given to me. I took it from the shelf and put it in my bag to bring with me on the train for my commute so I could review it and make some appropriate selections from it for our second Seder. I had never, I must confess, looked at it beyond a sort of cursory fashion before but, I thought, it is a Haggadah and a Haggadah is exactly what I need.

I read through the first half of it this morning and, in one sitting, feel as if I have acquired a vastly different understanding of the Passover holiday, of the miracle of the Exodus, of the importance of it all to me as a Jew. It is a wonderful book, my friend, and, I am almost ashamed to say, I have already learned so much from it.

I did not realize that “the Children of Israel ‘were naked and bare’ -- they did not perform mitzvot in Egypt [and] [e]ven the mitzvah of circumcision was forgotten. When the time for the redemption finally arrived, G-d gave the Jews to mitzvot to perform: the Paschal Lamb and circumcision . . .” (citation omitted). I did not realize that it was, among other things, due to the performance of these two mitzvot that G-d redeemed our people from slavery in Egypt. This affected me greatly and I want to share with you why.

My newest son, the New Addition, named in blessed memory of my grandfather, _______ who died in December 2005, was born on April 5, 2006. We held my sonÂ’s bris on Wednesday, April 12, the morning of the first Seder. His circumcision was held the morning of the day on which we gathered to thank G-d for his redemption, just as the Haggadah recounts that our people were circumcised those thousands of years ago. With that beautiful ceremony, we were all privileged to share a connection with our fore-fathers as they too were circumcised and waited to be freed from slavery. I, obviously, did not realize the significance of the timing of the New AdditionÂ’s bris until I read the book you gave me. My grandfather would have known, I bet.

I was terribly moved by this wonderful occurrence and felt, as I felt when my wife was spared the devastation of September 11, 2001 because we were all at the mikvah for the conversion to Judaism ceremony for the Girl Child, that somehow G-d has welcomed my children into the covenant of his people, despite the fact that I married, for love, outside my faith.

Reading this Hagaddah that you gave me has given me greater insight into the holiday and spurred me on to want to know more and to study and to acquire more knowledge. And so, I write to thank you and to tell you that, in my view, you have performed a mitzvah. You have allowed me to learn and kindled within me the desire to learn more. You have made my Passover more significant, more meaningful and more important, less rote and more feeling and intellect. In short, maybe, you have helped me with your gift become a better Jew and a better guide to my children as they learn what it is to be a Jew. I will, I suspect, always think of you at Passover from now on.

While you gave me this gift several years back now, I think that it was only with this Passover that I actually received it. Thank you, my friend.

And while I thank you, thank you also for the wonderful matzah you gave my family and me. We will have it and eat it, in fulfillment of the laws of our people, at this second Seder that my daughter has now demanded that we hold.

With the fondest of thanks,

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:57 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I have fulfilled my promise and played my role in the unbroken covenant dating back 3500 years to Abraham. My son has had his bris. He did beautifully, although my father had to be cautioned by the mohel to hold the boy's legs more firmly and a bit more carefully. The boy is rather strong, according to the mohel.

The attendance was low but the important ones managed to come.

I wore my grandfather's yarmulke for the ceremony. It was the first time I had put it on, ever. My grandmother had made it for him. He wore it all the time I knew him. The cantor said it was Bukharan in style, which I did not know. It was a difficult moment for me. The bris for the boy named for my grandfather and my wearing his yarmulke. I took it out of his tallis bag and closed the bag up. I had been delaying, coming up with reason after reason to avoid taking possession of these things from my mom. It doesnÂ’t take a genius to figure out why. But I wore it.

After the bris, we hung it with our guests and then went for a long lunch at our old beach club. The kids frolicked on the lawn next to the ocean. It was a spectacular day. I drove everyone back home for a little while and we returned to Westchester that evening for the Seder.

The Girl Child sang the four questions in Hebrew. She's five years old. She is now officially more accomplished than I am.

We didn't get home from the Seder until almost 10:00. We were all terribly tired. The children had not napped and I have not had a complete night's sleep in days, if not longer. I put them to bed and went to my room to unpack from the day.

It had been a momentous day. We welcomed our son into the world in a spiritual, ritual way and we celebrated the deliverance of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. It was quite a day.

I opened my grandfather's tallis bag to replace within it his, now my, yarmulke. I don't know why I did the following, what prompted me to do this, but I put my face to his tallis bag and inhaled.

He has been dead since December, my beloved grandfather. I miss him more than I can possibly relate. I thought I was doing better with his death.

But the tallis bag. Oh, my. The bag smelled of him. I could smell his particular scent in it still. The scent I used to smell when I hugged him or sat next to him. I can't describe it but it was ineluctably his, this scent. I closed the bag immediately and began to struggle not to cry. It was such a blow, such an unexpected punch to suddenly find him there in that bag, there in the room with me. I shut the bag quickly so I could, as if I really could, preserve the smell, not expose it to air, bottle it for later, hold on to that dear man for a little bit longer.

Right now, the scent was too much for me. I'm not going to tell my mother or uncles about it, I don't think. Maybe later it will be a comfort to me but right now that faint scent is overwhelming.

I miss him so much that I have given my son his name. Although, right now, I have difficulty calling my son by his given name. Instead, I call him by the nickname my daughter has bestowed upon him and I find that easier.

I'm going to hug that bag to my chest, you know, and pray for the time that it becomes a comfort to me and not a trial.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:23 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I just slept for the last 40 minutes or so and am feeling marginally more human. It was an early start to the day (alarm at 3:40 a.m.) after a difficult night with the little guy, mostly difficult for my wife but I was up a bit, too. I had to get up so early to meet the new nanny at the airport at 5:20. It is about an hour's drive from her to Kennedy airport.

So, it was about 4:00 when I went downstairs this morning to quickly make some coffee before heading off and I heard some suspicious little feet pattering away upstairs. I went up to investigate and found the Boy Child and the Girl Child coming out of her room:

BC: Pappa, me so thirsty, me have some freshWAter, please?

GC: Pappa, he's really thirsty and wants some fresh water. My water on my night table is a little old.

Me: What was he doing in your room?

GC: Oh, he slept in my bed because he said he was scared.

I picked him up and carried him downstairs where I got him some fresh water and brought him back up and tucked him and the Girl Child back into her bed, hoping they'd get to sleep.

They didn't. I heard more footsteps moving around quickly upstairs.

Then my wife came down. Now, this is how you know you've married a good one, ok. It is just past 4:00 in the morning, your wife has been up and then asleep and then up and then asleep throughout the night, she has just been woken up by the other kids, and she reports to you with great humor:

You realize that you are leaving me all alone in the house with two members of the five and under crowd engaged in an active search upstairs for the prophet Elijah? At least, that's what they said they were looking for when they just came into our room and woke me up.

They are some lucky kids, I tell you. If I tried that, I'd have had some violence committed on my person.

The bris for the new guy, by the way, will be on Wednesday.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:02 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I would say we've made a few changes for the Girl Child and Boy Child this weekend. We've brought home a new brother for them, fired the nanny (that went very well, actually), are bringing the new nanny in to start tomorrow, and have put the Boy Child in a big boy bed. The Boy Child is still wearing a diaper at night (age 3) because he keeps peeing in the night. The following is what transpired this morning when I crawled into bed with him to cuddle with him after he woke up:

Me: Did you pee in your diaper last night?

BC: Weeeel, I went to the potty a lot last night.

Me: Yes, but did you pee in your diaper?

BC: Mamma changed me last night [tone: earnest]

Me: Ok, but did you pee in your diaper?

BC: [sighs] Oh, dear. Maybe a lot.

I was so proud of him and his attempts to answer my questions without actually answering them. I think he's close to ready for national elective office.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 07:07 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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I blocked it all from my memory. How bad the incomplete night is. I didn't get the brunt of it, I just took the 1:00 to 2:30 shift when, remembering that I was going to have to watch the two older children, I passed the new guy back to his mother.

Everything hurts -- head, neck, back. Not to whine, because no matter how bad I feel I can guarantee that my wife feels worse.

Sitting here right now with the older kids, I made the Girl Child (age 5) laugh:

Me: Girl Child, your hair looks so pretty since we got it cut. She did such a nice job.

GC: No, it doesn't. It looks stupid.

Me: Yeah, but it looks pretty stupid!

She laughed really hard. Gotta love a 5 year old with a good sense of humor.

I have to go make more coffee. Bye.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:47 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 I see the humor gets exponentially worse compared to the hours of sleep. However, if it makes GC laugh, your job is done my friend. Everyone is home? That's great news! Hang in there family RP.

Posted by: Wicked H at April 08, 2006 10:29 AM (BQhBn)

2 I am glad everyone is at home and happy. Have a happy Pesach!!!!

Posted by: Rachel Ann at April 08, 2006 04:30 PM (oig97)

3 God bless the little ones!

Posted by: Andrew Cusack at April 09, 2006 05:09 AM (kxskO)

4 I'm having flashbacks. Argh! The key is to be a deeper sleeper than the missus. Or at least to learn to fake it real well. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at April 10, 2006 05:21 AM (oqu5j)

5 I feel for ya, RP, I'm in the same boat. I thought to myself "I'm too old for this!" the first night that he screamed most of the night. Fortunate for me my wife has been taking the brunt of it: 3-5 hour gaps between feeding, the nights where nothing calms him. It's only a few months (hopefully) and I'm confident you can stand it. We've got a couple more to go and we may be seeing the home stretch. Then there's the constant eye and the chasing and the...

Posted by: Oorgo at April 12, 2006 11:37 AM (lM0qs)

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Here I sit. Quite tired, a beer filled glass at my feet, the baby monitors buzzing quietly behind me, my equally tired children sleeping upstairs, and a gigantic pile of clean newborn sized baby laundry that I washed in between assembling the cradle, going to the pharmacy, returning client phone calls and family phone calls, cleaning the new baby's room and sorting all his clothes, and visiting the wife and new child (who I still don't know what to call for my blog).

The Boy Child and Girl Child shared a picnic dinner on the floor of the Viking Bride's room tonight. They had McDonald Happy Meals, beloved of children everywhere, and the wife and I shared a celebratory meal that the hospital gives all new parents. Quite good actually (seriously), although if you give birth at Greenwich Hospital any of you out there, I urge you not to bother opening the bottle of NY State Champagne. Don't say I didn't warn you, ok?

Hopefully, the new guy will get released tomorrow from the NICU, where he has been kept as his blood sugar has not been stellar and he is still quite a tiny little fellow. I am optimistic that they will allow us to bring him home tomorrow. They kick the Viking Bride to the curb by 11:00.

Well, the mound of laundry ain't folding itself, so I must go.

Before I go, though, thank you all for this unexpected outpouring of support and happiness and good wishes and all the wonderful thoughts you all were sending our way. Even if it didn't influence the outcome (no way to know, of course but I figure it surely didn't hurt), it certainly touched my heart and I am terribly grateful. Thank you all so very much.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:24 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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At 3:30 today, our newest son arrived in the world. I cried, just a little bit. He cried a bit more.

Mother and child appear to be just fine. The baby is in the NICU right now but, I hope, he will be out soon. They just want to make sure he's taking food properly and that his breathing is good. The Viking Bride has already been allowed to eat chocolate again and her blood pressure and other things are all back to normal again.

He's wicked cute and I love him already.

His brother and sister assured me that there was enough room in their hearts to include their new sibling.

And yes, he will be named for my grandfather who died in December.

Now, I go to sleep. I expect a good night's sleep for the first time in days.

Thank you all for your thoughts and support.

Bris will be held next Wednesday, according to the Mohel, who I just got off the phone with.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:49 PM | Comments (34) | Add Comment
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1 Oh, Joy! Thank you, God! Bless you all!! CONGRATULATIONS!! ; )

Posted by: Christina at April 05, 2006 08:54 PM (zJsUT)

2 Wonderful news! Welcome to the outside world, Boy Child #2! I'm so glad that the Viking Bride is recovering well too.

Posted by: Jordana at April 05, 2006 09:07 PM (ec2Bd)

3 Thank you so much for taking valuable time out of this most important day to share this wonderful news with us. I checked tonight, not imagining that you would have posted so soon. But I was so happy you did. Congratulations on every level - a new son, a healthy wife, a precious loving 3-child family, and the best way of honoring the memory of your wonderful grandfather. Amazing that we can feel so connected to someone we never met! And yet we do... Thank you again for sharing this news, and your life, with us.

Posted by: Amy at April 05, 2006 09:18 PM (XQOEH)

4 Congrats! YAEH! I hope you're all hanging in there.

Posted by: C at April 05, 2006 09:24 PM (V2Gqw)

5 WOO HOO!!! Congradulations, Papa!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at April 05, 2006 09:49 PM (wYbS/)

6 Congratulations!! I'm soooo happy for you

Posted by: Zya at April 05, 2006 10:02 PM (lVC6g)

7 Yay!!! Congratulations guys.

Posted by: phin at April 05, 2006 10:13 PM (9Vcb6)

8 My wife and I send our congratulations with those of the Blogosphere on the birth of your son and the renewed health of the Viking Bride.

Posted by: Edd at April 05, 2006 10:38 PM (yiTzD)

9 Hooray! Congrats to all of you!

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 06, 2006 01:18 AM (jOkK0)

10 CONGRATULATIONS!! All my best wishes to the whole family.

Posted by: Mia at April 06, 2006 01:30 AM (/buqi)

11 Congratulations! It's so nice to hear everyone is doing well. I hope and pray all the best for you and your family.

Posted by: Dr Pants at April 06, 2006 03:55 AM (h/w1u)

12 CONGRATULATIONS!! Thank you for stopping and letting us know. May God continue to bless your wonderful family. What wonderful, wonderful news!! All my love, M

Posted by: Margi at April 06, 2006 05:01 AM (BRtaN)

13 Welcome to the world. little one! Congratulations, family! All of our thoughts are with you all, and thanks for the awesome news!

Posted by: Mandalei at April 06, 2006 05:53 AM (339IQ)

14 Congratulations! I'm so relieved you are all ok. (For some reason I'm a little teary myself...)

Posted by: Nic at April 06, 2006 06:13 AM (JijW0)

15 Congratulations to the entire RP family. Larger now, by one. Such good news to wake up to! :-D

Posted by: Jennifer at April 06, 2006 07:59 AM (jl9h0)

16 What wonderful, wonderful news! Congrats to all of you.

Posted by: oddybobo at April 06, 2006 08:03 AM (6Gm0j)

17 Fantastic news! So happy to hear that everyone is doing well. Congratulations!!!!! I may be biased, but anything "wicked" is always good. Get some rest now RP.

Posted by: Wicked H at April 06, 2006 08:43 AM (iqFar)

18 oh, bless! May God continue to grant his favour to you and yours -- the new little bundle 'o' joy, notwithstanding! congrats, rp : )

Posted by: amelie at April 06, 2006 08:53 AM (J0CVQ)

19 How wonderful! Congratulations, and I hope you spring him from the NICU very soon.

Posted by: Phoenix at April 06, 2006 09:47 AM (4N2f4)

20 RP - I am so glad everyone is safe and sound - Mazel Tov!!!! It's good to see you are continuing a great Jewish tradition. I was named for my paternal grandfather Martin Meyer. Like your son, I never knew him as he dided just months before I was born. I carry my name proudly in his blessed memory, just as I am sure your son will. This is just terrific news!

Posted by: Mark at April 06, 2006 10:04 AM (Y1YOa)

21 Oh, what wonderful news! You have all been in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm so happy to hear that all is well. Congrats on your new arrival!

Posted by: Bridget at April 06, 2006 10:05 AM (aot1k)

22 WOOOHOOOOO! Mazeltov! That's wonderful news. The husband and I are thrilled for all of you!

Posted by: Kathy at April 06, 2006 10:20 AM (cipZl)

23 Mazeltov RP and congratulations to you and your family.

Posted by: David at April 06, 2006 10:34 AM (Mlped)

24 Outstanding! Wishing mother and baby -- and all of you -- the very best.

Posted by: MCNS at April 06, 2006 11:01 AM (pbCqD)

25 That's wonderful news, RP! I'm so happy for you and your family, and relieved that everything has turned out well. Maybe prayers do make a difference? I'm not sure, but this may have been one of the biggest munuvian events in quite awhile! Definitely the most nerve-wracking. It's all worth it though, everybody is healthy and you have a new baby boy! Woohoo!

Posted by: Oorgo at April 06, 2006 11:08 AM (lM0qs)

26 I do hope the Mohel doesn't take tips.

Posted by: Bob at April 06, 2006 11:33 AM (yMzz+)

27 Such wonderful news! Mazel Tov to you and your whole beautiful family.

Posted by: Jocelyn at April 06, 2006 12:00 PM (jkRb/)

28 RP- I'm so happy to hear that all went well. Congratulations! Angie

Posted by: Angie at April 06, 2006 12:40 PM (PQx1b)

29 Congratulations!

Posted by: seawitch at April 06, 2006 01:00 PM (k/i4O)

30 A baby is GodÂ’s opinion that life should go on. - Carl Sandburg Wishing you all the best!

Posted by: Amy at April 06, 2006 01:58 PM (nUCsP)

31 Fantastic! Congratulations, RP. Please pass that on to the Viking Bride as well. I'm so happy for y'all! :-D

Posted by: Jim at April 06, 2006 02:05 PM (oqu5j)

32 OH RP! I'm crying. Congratulations! And you're naming him for your grandfather. How wonderful! :-) :-) :-) :-) Thank you for taking the time to let us know. :-) *all smiles*

Posted by: Amber at April 06, 2006 03:03 PM (zQE5D)

33 Yay! A hearty congratulations to you and your family. Many years of continued happiness to you all.

Posted by: Primal at April 06, 2006 04:02 PM (icY2D)

34 Sorry I'm late! Congrats to you and the whole family, RP! That's just great news and I'm really happy for everyone. Howard

Posted by: Howard at April 07, 2006 02:26 PM (u2JaN)

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The results of the amnio are back and the baby's lungs are mature. That means, that as of about an hour ago, they gave my wife Cervidil. The labor induction has begun. I will join her tomorrow morning and, assuming everything goes smoothly, we will have a new baby tomorrow evening and the Viking Bride will be all better.

Thank you all, so very much, for your kind thoughts and your prayers and your emails. I have not been able to respond to them all (uh, any of them, actually) but I have read them and they helped.

Meanwhile, I leave you with the instructions the Boy Child (aged 3) told me to communicate to the doctor:

Pappa, tomorrow you go hopsbital, you see doctor, you say: "mamma ready come home now, she come home now", ok?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 07:51 PM | Comments (21) | Add Comment
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1 Oh, thank you for keeping us abreast. Bless her, you, the baby, and your lovely family. Prayers and good thoughts are still with you all. ; )

Posted by: Christina at April 04, 2006 08:03 PM (zJsUT)

2 Excellent news!

Posted by: nic at April 04, 2006 08:07 PM (l+W8Z)

3 Oh that IS good news. I'll keep praying until you say stop, though. Deal? xoxo

Posted by: Margi at April 04, 2006 08:43 PM (BRtaN)

4 Oh, gracious! That's wonderful news! Keeping the fingers and toes crossed. Go to bed, by the way. You're going to be sleep deprived soon.

Posted by: Kathy at April 04, 2006 09:35 PM (cipZl)

5 AWESOME!!! Really happy for all of you!!!!

Posted by: Mark at April 04, 2006 09:35 PM (lQg4b)

6 Woo Hoo!!!! Yay for lung maturity! Mazel tov, my friend.

Posted by: Linda at April 04, 2006 09:58 PM (4gch1)

7 Great news. We'll keep praying, try to get some sleep. Not that you'll do it, but that's what everybody told me, so I figured it's good advice.

Posted by: phin at April 04, 2006 10:15 PM (9Vcb6)

8 Are prayers have been with your family and in a special communion confessional today. We will continue those prayers for you and the familyÂ… Yours in ChristÂ…

Posted by: Edd at April 04, 2006 10:25 PM (yiTzD)

9 Oh!! I'm so happy for you and relieved! that is great news I mean, of course *we* all knew it was going to be okay!

Posted by: Zya at April 05, 2006 02:37 AM (lVC6g)

10 Yay! We will all continue to send good karma and lots of prayers your way RP. Looking forward to hear continuing good news. Sneak in some rest too....

Posted by: Wicked H at April 05, 2006 06:45 AM (iqFar)

11 We're thinking of y'all! DOn't hesitate to let us know if there's anything you need!

Posted by: Mandalei at April 05, 2006 06:56 AM (LcyhB)

12 oh, bless -- that's wonderful news! i'm still praying for and thinking of you and your family. hope all goes well in the final segment of the journey..

Posted by: amelie at April 05, 2006 07:49 AM (J0CVQ)

13 That's great news! Best wishes and hopes that all goes well and smoothly. I can't wait to hear if this little one is another Boy Child or Girl Child.

Posted by: Jordana at April 05, 2006 10:26 AM (ec2Bd)

14 I'm very happy to hear it! I know you're not out of the water yet, but it's close now and the outlook is much better than a couple of days ago. Good luck, and God bless

Posted by: Oorgo at April 05, 2006 10:47 AM (lM0qs)

15 My wife's birthday (40th this year!) is/was on April 4. Looks like your newest just missed being her "twin." Best wishes for a safe delivery.

Posted by: JohnL at April 05, 2006 10:57 AM (Hs4rn)

16 Best news of today. And let us know as soon as you have a second for that. I wish you all to be healthy and happy.

Posted by: Jurate at April 05, 2006 02:25 PM (5V0wA)

17 Great! I'll keep the positive thoughts flowing and look forward to a baby announcement.

Posted by: Jocelyn at April 05, 2006 03:40 PM (jkRb/)

18 OMG! The baby's coming early! How did I miss out on this!? Wow, I thought I was here just the other day! RP! My thoughts are with you and Viking Bride! I know you're busy but I can't wait until you update! :-) {{{hugs to all of you}}} !!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Amber at April 05, 2006 03:47 PM (zQE5D)

19 Fabulous news! I can't wait to hear that all is well and ten new fingers and ten new toes have joined the RP family!

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 05, 2006 05:14 PM (jOkK0)

20 And? Well? I mean, what...are you TOO BUSY FOR US? Waiting with baited breath, for the best of all possible news.es. :-)

Posted by: Jennifer at April 05, 2006 05:23 PM (y4DOI)

21 Sounds like the Boy Child has the right idea. Many prayers headed your way.

Posted by: oddybobo at April 05, 2006 05:24 PM (6Gm0j)

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I have finally gotten the children to bed. We called Mamma at the "hobspital" on my cell phone, put her on speaker, and included her in the good night stories and the songs. The kids sang Norwegian children's songs for her and I think she melted.

I am beat. I drove down to the hospital this morning and had breakfast with my wife. Then trained into the city to go to work for a couple of hours and returned in the late afternoon. After another visit and a consultation with her doctor, I drove home to take the kids.

The doctor was interesting. Basically, my wife is getting worse, trending from mild to severe. The blood pressure is up and rising and the other issues are going the same way. If it weren't for the gestational diabetes, they would have induced labor already. Why wait? With gestational diabetes there are lung maturation issues. You see, complication upon complication. What we are going to do, assuming she stays the same, is to have an amnio again tomorrow morning to check for lung maturation on the baby. If the lungs are mature, they induce right away. If the lungs are not quite ready, and my wife is stable, they will try to delay the process for a couple of extra days. If, however, my wife begins to get worse, they induce, regardless of lung maturity status. Either way, we're getting a baby by the end of the week.

Thank you, all of you, for your good wishes, kind thoughts, and your prayers. I appreciate them all. I don't have the time right now to personally answer each one, as I am sure you understand, but I read them all and am grateful.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:03 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 Don't forget to take care of yourself, RP. When your Viking Bride and new baby come home, things will get even busier. Sending best wishes as always to everyone.

Posted by: Jocelyn at April 03, 2006 08:42 PM (jkRb/)

2 What a wonderful father, husband, and man you are. Continuing prayers and good thoughts. Love to you all.

Posted by: Chrissy at April 03, 2006 09:00 PM (zJsUT)

3 ((*Hugs*)) Sending all good thoughts to you and your family.

Posted by: DogsDontPurr at April 03, 2006 09:35 PM (guP8d)

4 still thinking and praying; my best to you all

Posted by: amelie at April 04, 2006 12:00 AM (J0CVQ)

5 our thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Take care and give my love to the Viking Bride.

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 04, 2006 12:18 AM (jOkK0)

6 I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm here if you need a shoulder. I should note, right here, that I am confident that your darling wife and child will be just fine. And I think I can say that with some authority, given the fact that my pregnancy and your Viking Bride's are scarily similar in the end-game department. It was *damned scary* at the time -- but you get through it. Peanut was 4 pounds 15 ounces when he decided to scare the hell out of us all -- and I'm cuddling a healthy 10 pound baby boy today. It should also be noted that I was 4 pounds 15 ounces at MY birth -- six weeks early. I was skinny and early -- and haven't been either one since! *wan smile* Just know that we're here -- praying like mad and sending our healing love and light to you all. xoxo

Posted by: Margi at April 04, 2006 01:25 AM (BRtaN)

7 RP, you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers as well!

Posted by: Oddybobo at April 04, 2006 10:00 AM (6Gm0j)

8 Fingers and toes crossed; happy thoughts being sent toward the second star on the right; prayers being prayed---we've got the bases covered. Take care of yourself so you can take care of everyone else. Much love to you, the kids and the Viking Bride.

Posted by: Kathy at April 04, 2006 10:42 AM (cipZl)

9 I echo Jocelyns remarks, remember to try and get sleep yourself, and eat etc., because the constant travel and kids can run you completely ragged. I've been there and I empathize, although I'm sure you'll do better because you seem to be better at managing your time. Again, waiting in anticipation, believing the best.

Posted by: Oorgo at April 04, 2006 11:46 AM (lM0qs)

10 Best wishes from Texas.

Posted by: David at April 04, 2006 01:37 PM (Mlped)

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I lack the inspiration to title this post. I am, at this point, exhausted and am really just writing this to unwind a bit. Last night, I allowed the kids to have a sleep over again. After a while, the Girl Child called to me and I went running upstairs:

GC: Pappa, my tummy hurts. I don't feel good.

Me: [honestly, thinking at this point that this is the last thing I need] What's wrong, peanut? Is your tummy unhappy?

GC: Well, its not happy; its not angry or disappointed, but its not happy. I think that maybe its just empty. Dinner was a long time ago.

Funny, since I recalled, at that point, exactly what she ate the day. Breakfast, one huge slice of Challah, toasted with butter and jelly. Then we ran errands and came home and she ate a bowl of oatmeal with a half a bannana. Then she went to a birthday party and ate cake and pizza. We came home and she ate 6 dumplings that her brother and I brought home from lunch for her. Then she napped. A little candy after her nap and a little ice cream when we visited her mother at the hospital. Dinner with my parents where she had bread and a whole plate of tortellini. And she was empty. Did I mention that you can see the girl's ribs and she eats like this? Unreal.

So, update on the wife's situation. She is not coming home from the hospital. Not until after she gives birth. We are on a day to day thing here. Her pressure keeps moving in ways that make everyone unhappy and her liver enzymes are increasing. There is no way to know but there is a sense that she is brewing something and everyone is nervous that it could escalate at any moment. So, she stays.

The kids saw her twice today. Once in the morning after breakfast and once after naps. They understand that she is not well. The Boy Child told my mother: "My mother in hobspital; she not feeling well. She sick." The Girl Child hasn't spoken about it but she knew the instant we pulled into the parking lot that this was the hospital that she went to visit her great-grandfather when he was dying. She asked me, as I switched off the engine, "are you sad to be here, Pappa?" I told her I wasn't, that I wasn't sad any more about my grandfather dying but that I was happy about the wonderful life he lived. She seemed to accept that, but, you never know. She's a deep one and there is, really, no question in my mind that she has made a connection between the hospital and death and her mother being there. I hope, merely, that it fades.

I don't want to end on that last thought. Instead, I will end on hope. I leave with a thought of hope. And the words of the Boy Child, who wanted to know if his mother could come home and check on him sleeping. I told him she couldn't.

Finally, I leave you with Kiss me Kate. We, the kids and me, have been listening to the soundtrack.

Its too darn hot.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:12 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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They're keeping her, maybe until sometime on Monday, maybe longer. The problems are, potentially, very serious and they don't want to take any chances.

I am exhausted. The kids are down napping, now, and when they wake I will take them to visit their mother at the hospital. They have, needless to say, no idea of the seriousness of the problem. All they know is that Mamma is having some tests and they need her to stay over.

I am feeling a number of things right now. Worried about my wife, concerned about the kids, unsettled by the hour to hour uncertainty, and a tad overwhelmed. It feels, for the first time, like I am a single parent, like I have sole responsibility for the kids and that's it and it may be for some time. Its different from having the kids for a week while my wife is away on business, for instance. I can't say how, but it is hugely different.

Our nanny has not offered to help at all. Meaning, she has not asked if there is anything she can do. She has no plans this weekend. I know because she told me that. If I was undecided at all, I am now resolved that this will be her last week. Come Friday, I will fire her. If I'm gonna be alone with the kids, then fine, let me be alone with them and at least I can do it while just wearing boxer shorts.

I will post more, if I have the opportunity, later. Or not. We'll see how it goes.

Thank you, by the way, for all your kind comments. They were awfully nice to read.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:35 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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These are useful things, adjournments. Its what a lawyer says when he needs to reschedule. Its what I just did at the Appellate Division, First Department, for my appellate argument previously calendered for next Friday. You see, the Viking Bride is being admitted to the hospital today for preeclampsia (follow the link if you want to know more). I am more or less beside myself with worry and writing this to distract myself and use up some time until the next train leaves to take me back out to Connecticut so I can be with her at the hospital. They are going to keep her over night, at minimum.

The baby is fine but, who can say, may decide or the doctors may decide that he or she will be coming out soon. Sooner than expected by a lot. It goes without saying, I suppose, that we are so far from ready for this baby to be born. We still need to locate and wash all the old baby clothes and put the cradle together. This will happen (meaning, I will do it) while everyone else sleeps, I bet. An adjournment of the birth would be helpful, but even with a stipulation with all parties consenting, I don't know which judge or clerk to present such a request to.

Yes, indeed. Life is happening while we fiddled and made other plans.

Ok, off to the train and to join my wife at the hospital.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:11 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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I know I've written about the power of smells before. Smells/odors have the power to transport you temporally. I had that experience a couple of nights ago on the train. It had been a very hard couple of days at work and I had spent that particular day in front of a very demanding judge so, by the time I hit the train, I was more than ready for my nap. In fact, I was out before the train left the station. When I awoke, and I did so sort of gradually and grudgingly, it was to a smell. It was a kind of clean, at first, odor. And then, as I become more conscious, I was struck by memories of 9th and 10th grade study hall, sitting in the back left corner of the room that we dubbed the swamp. I vividly recalled the space, the arrangement of the desks, the appearance of my friends, and the smell of the Kodiak dip we regularly (me, not so regularly) put in our mouths and spit on to the carpet behind the radiator. And that's when it hit me, the nicely dressed, gray haired fellow with the respectable spectacles sitting next to me was spitting dip or chewing tobacco into an empty bottle.

Uh, yuck?

While I appreciated the nostalgia trip, I was actually mildly grossed out.

Just the same, we had a short but very pleasant conversation and he told me that a lot of the people he worked with, bond traders, used it. A lot of them are ex-baseball players and picked up the habit there. Also, as a trader, its hard to step away from your desk for long enough to have a smoke. Hence, the smokeless stuff.

Funny experience, though. Even if it was a little icky.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 11:29 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I came through the door last night into the kitchen and could see my family in the dining room, the room next to the kitchen. They were all playing on the floor. My wife, 8 months pregnant, was actually on the floor letting the kids take turns riding on her back. She didn't see me come in. The Boy Child announced my presence:

BC: Mamma! Is him!

Mamma: Hvem? (Who, in Norwegian)

BC: Him! Your friend Pappa!

I don't know why I thought that was so funny but I did. Maybe because it was interesting to see how his mind worked in terms of figuring out his mother's and my relationship.

In any event, later we read a story with the word "salute" in it and, if he remembers, I have him primed to go into his classroom today and say hello to his teachers by announcing: "Greetings and Salutations!" We'll see. Keep your fingers crossed.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:24 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 It worked well when my niece used the same greeting right after we finished reading Charlotte's Web together. I am sure the BC will not disappoint.

Posted by: Wicked H at March 30, 2006 10:59 AM (iqFar)

2 "Your friend, Pappa!" That's so alarmingly cute, I don't think I'll be able to function at my job today. AWWWWWW! I love the stories of your children, RP. :-) And Happy 1000 Blog! I remember ya way back when. Ye olden days o' blogging on blogspot. Heh. ;-)

Posted by: Amber at March 30, 2006 11:20 AM (zQE5D)

3 Your children just knock me off my feet.

Posted by: Jennifer at March 30, 2006 05:15 PM (jl9h0)

4 That is sweet and a testimony to your wonderful relationship. May you always be friends with your wife....

Posted by: Rachel Ann at March 31, 2006 01:59 AM (rkNfP)

5 LOLLLL!! My auntie still tells the story of my 15 year-old, when he was around four. My auntie came to visit with her long-time boyfriend. My son, who shared a room with his older brother, woke up and came into the kitchen asking her: "Where's yer brudder?" (I think you can follow his train of thought, here.) I love love loooove the innocence and simple yet brilliant turns of a child's mind. They have a way of cutting right through all pretense that I adore. Hug those babies, kiddo. And your wife, too. Make them hug you, twice. xoxo

Posted by: Margi at March 31, 2006 12:16 PM (BRtaN)

6 Awww, I also love the stories about your children! And did Boy Child salute his teacher? Anyway, good luck with everything - I'm sure it'll all come out all right.

Posted by: Hannah at April 05, 2006 01:01 AM (ImQx2)

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I think my memory is going. My short term memory. The thing that lets me retain instructions from my wife, for instance. I know she told me I have to do something but I have little to no idea what that thing might be. Honey, if you're reading this, shoot me an email, ok?

My memory for blog material is also suffering. I think I need to get a pad or something. I see all this cool and interesting stuff and I want to blog about said stuff but something happens. Sometime between thinking its cool and getting to my keyboard, I lose the thread. I get here and can't recall at all what I wanted to write about. *sigh*

Court went well yesterday. I do remember that much. My client was pleased and I got a preliminary injunction to shut down a former officer from competing with my client after said former officer admitted to stealing file and confidential business information. Injunctive relief work is very consuming. It is all done on short notice and without the usual care you might take in preparing a serious application. Sometimes, it is all about the speed. And the speed, that my friends, is a rush.

So much of a rush that I was still happy this morning when I got to the gym and put up 70 pound dumbbells, 10 times, for my last set of chest press. That explains, in part, why it was difficult to dry my hair after my shower. You know you worked out hard when you can't dry your hair because your arms and chest are too pumped.

So, that's it really.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:22 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 I think the memory loss is contagious. Probably a massive viral infect spreading across the east coast. At least that's the story I'm going with, 'cause the missus asked me to take care of a couple of things on the way home and I haven't the slightest idea what they were. Of course she'll blame it on my "selective" hearing.

Posted by: phin at March 29, 2006 10:46 AM (Xvpen)

2 RP Schwarzenegger, rolls right off the tongue....

Posted by: Wicked H at March 29, 2006 11:03 AM (iqFar)

3 I blaim the short term memory loss on the solar eclipse... and solar flares... and... em emissions. And then sometimes I blame the cat 'cause she meows in the middle of the night.

Posted by: Oorgo at March 29, 2006 11:54 AM (lM0qs)

4 I'm glad I'm not the only one who has that problem. Uh...the problem with...uh...crap, don't tell me, it'll come to me in a minute. The problem wiiiiiithhhhh...and it's gone. What were we talking about?

Posted by: Howard at March 29, 2006 03:53 PM (u2JaN)

5 RP - sorry I missed you in New York - but I will be there on a more permanent basis most probably and I will surely take you out for a drink then! As for the memory loss - someone once told me its all in the confidence. Pretend you have the best memory, and you will have it ;p Its a long shot, but worth a try... The other option is a REALLY handy To-do list system... there are lots out there... Like the cult of 'Getting things done' by David Allen... and his type of todo lists... Also try green tea

Posted by: Zya at March 30, 2006 12:46 AM (o19Kc)

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Before I dash off to Court for a hearing on a preliminary injunction, let me share the following, very quickly. We're in the car on Sunday and pull in to the gas station to fill the beast up. In front of us is an older guy who is getting back into his car, the driver door swung so wide open that we cannot move around him. So we wait while he re-enters his car. And we wait. And I comment, something along the lines of: C'mon Sparky, any slower and you'd be moving backwards! I'm none for my patience, you see.

And from the backseat, the Boy Child and the Girl Child, it was impossible to tell who began the chant, they sang out practically in unison, came, loudly:

Who let the dogs out?!?!?!

WHO, WHO??!!!??!! [last bit barked out like a dog]

You can't teach that kind of thing, you know. All you can do is share the rich cultural bounty that is our collective heritage and then rely on the wisdom of the 3 and 5 year old as to when it is appropriate to use it.

I'm so proud.

My wife and I laughed very hard.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:25 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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This post represents something special to me. This is a milestone reached, a distance covered, a length traveled.

This is post number One Thousand. For around two years now, I have been filling my blog with whatever falls out of my head. I began my first post by noting:

My goal here is to create an outlet where I can comment on the things that piss me off, interest me, amuse me, or will do any of those three things to my readers. [Ed.: Mind you, I had no readers when I wrote this!] In short, this will be a general interest blog for catholic (with a small c) interests. I welcome your participation in my little experiment.

I think, modest as my goals were, that I have mostly achieved them. Additionally, modest as my invitation was, it has mostly been accepted. Indeed, the comments make it all worthwhile. I still wrestle with why I blog or what I get out of it. I am way past caring that for some unknown reason I feel compelled to share some of my thoughts with a planet full of strangers and a small mini van full of people who I have come to share a friendship with. I am, however, pleased that my blog has also become a place where I memorialize -- what for many must be mundane but for me are -- the daily joys of sharing the lives of my extraordinary children and wife.

And I am, as I said, happy to receive the comments even if I tell myself that I would surely just keep on writing without them. Surely, I would. Surely I would derive the same pleasure from the writing that I do when I receive the largely thoughtful and intelligent comments I am fortunate enough to attract. Surely I am not lying to myself.

So, although I have said it before, thank you for the comments you leave. I am very appreciative of them.

One thousand posts seems like an awful lot to me. For a while there I thought maybe I was running out of things to say, running out of inspiration, losing my juice. My site stats bore silent sentinel to this as I have seen my average daily hits drop by a third. But recently I feel like it is all slowly creeping back in -- the pleasure derived simply from writing and expressing my thoughts, the having of the thoughts worth writing about, the caring. And the hits are slowly coming back up again. And the comments are still worth reading. So, I think that I pick option (A) on the menu: I will continue this little experiment and keep on writing.

And I will keep on writing here on MuNu where, courtesy of the gracious hosting by Pixy and thanks to the kind invitation from Helen, I have found a home and a place within a community of writers who I respect greatly. MuNu is a fabulous world and, if you haven't, I urge you to explore the MuNu links on my side bar. You will be richly rewarded by the experiment.

So, as numbers go, this is post one thousand, as I expect you have gathered. I am a bit humbled by what comes next. Many of the thousand were written elsewhere but since the first post I have put up here at MuNu, I have garnered some 3900+ comments. Since starting, I have had around 68,000 visits, many of them repeat offenders, of course, but we all know that recidivism is a problem not just for MuNu but for the world as a whole.

I guess I end this post here with a simple (as if I could do anything simply) thank you for sharing my life over the last 1000 posts. I think it has made my life richer and for that I am quite grateful. Here's to the next 1000!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 03:00 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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1 Happy 1000, RP! And many more, we hope. Here something I liked from a book I took out of our little local library, Biz Stone's "Who Let the Blogs Out?": A Hyperconnected Peek at the World of Weblogs: "It really doesn't matter if your blog is focused on a hobby, your work, politics, or just what you do during the course of the day. Blogging is information sharing, and the more you research and share, the more you gain expertise in your area of interest, even if that area is only "things that interest me." Every post you publish is added to your life's work, and that work is a window on your mind. Even if all you do is collect and publish bookmarks, the very links you choose to publish tip your hand. Blogging is an everyday practice of searching, thinking, and writing. There are many benefits to this exercise."

Posted by: Amy at March 24, 2006 03:07 PM (nUCsP)

2 Oh, no...thank you RP. We are more than happy to share this milestone. And stop calling us Shirley!!!!

Posted by: Wicked H at March 24, 2006 04:12 PM (BQhBn)

3 Awesome, my friend, just AWESOME! ; )

Posted by: Christina at March 24, 2006 04:29 PM (zJsUT)

4 Congratulations RP! We'll be happy to join you for the next 1000. I owe my munu digs to your invitation, and I thank you for that. You're absolutely right though, comments sometimes spur you on to create more, especially thoughtful intelligent comments such as the ones you get from your regulars here (not patting myself on the back, I'm talking about the rest of you). Cheers!

Posted by: Oorgo at March 24, 2006 05:13 PM (lM0qs)

5 Tahnks for all of the random pensees! And for seconding Linda's Munuvian nomination for me! You are the bomb, RP!

Posted by: Mark at March 24, 2006 09:43 PM (fdlRw)

6 Thank you, my friend, for the 1,000 posts. And the pictures that are worth a 1,000 words. And the 1,000 smiles. And the 1,000 ponderables. And, well, for just being you. xoxo

Posted by: Margi at March 25, 2006 01:53 AM (BRtaN)

7 Woo hoo!!! Congrats on the milestone! Lookin' forward to a thousand more. Then another thou. Then another...

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 25, 2006 03:02 PM (JuNdj)

8 Congratulations! I just checked mine and I'm at 1040 and didn't even notice! Wait are my taxes done?

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at March 25, 2006 05:16 PM (DdRjH)

9 I think I came in at around post 850, but I've caught up and then some. Like Margi said, thanks for being you. And for sharing little pieces of yourself with us on an almost (ahem) daily basis. :-)

Posted by: Jennifer at March 26, 2006 03:07 PM (y4DOI)

10 I'm looking forward to reading the next thousand. Congratulations!

Posted by: nic at March 26, 2006 06:50 PM (l+W8Z)

11 People experience discomfort when faced with total honesty, but I am going to be brutally honest. When I got to the part in this post about you having 'achieved your goals', I wanted to slap you hard. Figured you were going to quit on us. But I read on and now, with relief, I raise my glass and voice with yours in a toast "Here's to the next 1000".

Posted by: Roberta S at March 27, 2006 11:45 AM (oL/oG)

12 I can't believe you're up to post 1000 already... we started at about the same time at Blogger, I believe I found you via the updated blogs. Quite random, really. But I've enjoyed reading your posts over the last couple of years and I'm glad you're willing to continue writing. Though I don't always leave a comment, only if I've actually got something to say, I read most of what you write. I''m glad you enjoy it.

Posted by: Hannah at March 27, 2006 02:21 PM (ImQx2)

13 Congrats my friend! I am glad to read that you'll continue writing because as long as you write I'll read. Or something like that. :-)

Posted by: Howard at March 27, 2006 05:31 PM (u2JaN)

14 Congratulations! Looking forward to reading many more postings in the future.

Posted by: JohnL at March 28, 2006 09:13 AM (Hs4rn)

15 Let me just add my exhortation for another thousand (and then another...) to my fellow co-commentators' Congrats RP!

Posted by: grammarqueen at March 28, 2006 11:26 AM (XzHwx)

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I can't seem to get my thoughts organized into a coherent post today. As much as I keep prodding them and pushing them, they keep expanding / escaping / resisting all my efforts. So, I give up. Herewith, a random, disorganized post.

*I just returned from taking my tax information over to my accountant. He wasn't there, which is just fine with me. On the way back, I purchased a DVD to watch with the children: My Neighbor Totoro (link to review). I'm told that the animation is so equisite that it looks as if it was painted. Very excited, I am.

*The Viking Bride fled the state yesterday for meetings in Rhode Island. Before leaving, she attempted to poison the minds of the children against Rhode Island. They requested that she return with toys and she responded that Rhode Island was completely devoid of toys. A desert of toys, as it were. She's hoping that in 15 years time when the Girl Child hears the name "Rhode Island" she will have a negative reaction to the place and not know why. I ask you, dear readers, is it any wonder that I am as warped as I am after spending over 20 years with this woman?

*As a result of her leaving for meetings in RI, I had the kids to myself last night. If I was restricted to one word to describe how it all went, after a really shitty day at work yesterday, I would have to say: Bliss. Pure bliss, if two words. We read five stories and then tumbled around like kittens, cuddling, tickling, trying to squish Pappa, all with no one getting hurt, especially me. They listened like angels and the Boy Child went to bed without a peep. The Girl Child, on the other hand, was allowed secretly to stay up. We cuddled on the couch and watched a little pre-season baseball. She told me that I had to watch a lot of baseball when she grows up so I can see her because she's going to be a baseball player when she grows up. On the weekends, though, she says she's going to work in a restaurant as a chef but she's not going to tell me what she'll be cooking. Well, at least she has a strong work ethic, which I like.

*We have hired a new nanny. The old nanny does not know. Expect tears and recriminations when we hand her a plane ticket home. This will be my first time firing a nanny for performance issues. It has been tense, at least for me.

*I have been fighting an urge to flee lately. A desire to load the family in the car, shut the door on the house, start driving and just keep on going. We probably have enough cash to last for a couple of months, I suppose. Or just pack everyone off to the airport and get on the next plane out to anywhere. Well, not anywhere. I don't care for Michigan, so that's out. It is a combination of wanderlust, unhappiness at work, and probably some other stuff which I cannot really identify. Just the same, it looks like our Saturday just freed up. I think this could be the day to just fill the tank and see where the highway leads us without reference to anyone's nap schedules.

*The Viking Bride will travel into the City tonight from the far reaches of Connecticut and we will dine with the CEO and Chairman, and his wife, of a major league, big time, you'd know the name, international company. I'd be less than completely honest if I said I didn't hope that I'd get some business out it.

Ok, that just about wraps it up.

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I spent last night in my tuxedo for the monthly meeting of a board I am a member of. The meeting was fine -- a little contentious but in a good way--, the dinner was forgettable, the wines not great. That was ok. I was on my own for the evening, staying in the city, dressed up, and for once, not pressed for time. That was the key to my feeling good, you see. Not being pressed for time. I did not have to worry about the train schedule or getting to sleep in time so that my wife had enough rest or making sure that I had enough sleep to be able to get up for the early train or anything. I stepped off the treadmill for the evening. It was very relaxing. Even if you only take your vacation from life in four hour doses, sometimes the right four hours is really medicine enough.

But what made the whole evening terrific was the conversation later.

After the dinner part of the meeting ended, I found myself in the bar with two older gentlemen from the board. One was in his early 80's and the other in his late 70's. We chatted for a long time over brandy. The topic of virginity came up and the elder fellow told us about losing his when he was 16. He came into NY with some chums from prep school and found himself with a much older woman, a prostitute. They all drew straws and he got to go second. He said she actually lit a cigarette and told him that he had until the cigarette finished burning to "complete his mission". He confessed he wasn't sure what his mission was! Anyway, he said he did go back to her one more time, after redeeming some of his dad's soda bottles to get another $5. I asked him if he brought a cigar with him for the second time and when he asked me why, I said, "well, cigars burn a whole lot longer, don't they?" He threw his head back and roared.

All in all, it was a fabulous way to end the evening as these two older gentlemen reminisced about their mis-spent youths. I felt quite lucky to be included in their conversation.

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